Radical Ownership: Taking Responsibility for a Better You

Radical Ownership

"Radical Ownership", a term invented by Jocko Willink, is used frequently in the leadership space. What is it about? It's about being accountable for your stuff - your actions, your mood, your feelings, and whatnot. We often end up offloading these responsibilities outside our area of control, onto other people or, to situations.

"I'm pissed because..." - my job sucks, my partner didn’t do the laundry, my boss doesn’t appreciate me. The list could go on forever. But what if we remove the common keyword "my" from those reasons? You might wonder, why would I do that? Because you’re the one who put it there in the first place, both figuratively and literally.

How often do we take a step back and ask: What if there’s something I am doing wrong, or not doing at all? In most cases, even if not wrong, we can definitely do something better. The only thing stopping us? Our patterns, which can be very hard to identify, let alone break.

So why take ownership instead of just trying to change the other person or the situation? Sure, blaming others might give us a quick dopamine hit - feeding our ego - but it keeps us stuck. The next time the other person does something similar, or a similar situation comes up, we’d be pissed off again.

Ironically, taking responsibility is a selfish act - because it benefits you the most. It makes you slightly better and more prepared for next time. Plus, you feel stronger. If these are not your goals, good luck changing the world to keep you happy.

Strengthening the Ownership Muscle

Now that we've laid the foundation, let's switch focus to some exercises that might help strengthen the ownership muscle.

To begin, distance yourself from the situation or the person and put yourself in a safe space—a place where your mind feels relatively relaxed. Try to write down the key reasons for your feelings. Once done, add a "why?" after each and try to answer as honestly as possible.

The next thing is to write your goal. In most cases, it’d be your willingness to feel better. We all want to feel safe and happy. The last part is to dig into the "how", focusing only on things within Your control - because, well, that’s the easiest thing to do. This is where the real change happens. Be the person in charge, not a slave to your patterns.

Try, reflect, and repeat.