The Attitude of Gratitude

Imagine living in a world where you don't need anything. A place where there's literally nothing to chase, and you feel absolutely content with what you have. Content, in your mind and body. It might be really challenging for some to imagine themselves like that. Some of you might've already experienced that feeling, or be able to imagine it. And some might be questioning the rationale behind this exercise. It's not uncommon. But perhaps you can try leaving aside your rationality for a bit if you want to dive deeper. ​What I can share with complete certainty is that the feeling is extremely powerful. It can bring different experiences—a relaxing sensation in the body, a release of tension between muscles, sheer feeling of joy, and other positive emotions that I'm yet unaware of. Most people would want to feel that way in their lives. I'm occasionally able to create that for myself, though it's an ongoing learning process. ​One thing that has helped me do that is the practice of Gratitude—writing down what I am genuinely grateful for. ​​Sometimes, it's easy and sometimes, not. Though if I think carefully, without letting any prejudices and the tendency of comparison influence my thoughts, I usually find a good number of reasons to pen down.

The seemingly simple act can get tricky sometimes, especially when it comes to keeping the gratitude practice 'genuine'. The goal is not to cheat yourself and do it for the sake of it, but to grow through the discomforts of building the gratitude muscle. One common challenge is the repetition of the same bullet points, over and over again. For example, someone might write—"I am grateful to have a loving father/mother/wife and so on". If you want to repeat, try to add a unique reason to the thought, like "I am grateful for my family because...". ​Another challenge could be looking for reasons to be grateful in challenging situations. What if you try to shift the perspective a bit? For instance, if a job didn't work out, it would only put you in a position to find a better one—one more conducive to your happiness. The same could apply to a failed relationship, or other things which might feel like total catastrophes. That's not to say that every situation would have a silver lining. Some situations could be extremely difficult and there's no way to the other side of the tunnel, but through the darkness of it. Deluding yourself to see them positively isn't what gratitude is about. Neither is it about being complacent and not having a growth mindset. We can be appreciative of the things we have while striving to make them even better. It's a common human tendency to focus on what's missing, which puts us in a losing position to begin with and makes the journey towards growth more painful, if anything. ​Greg McKeown beautifully wrote about this in his book titled Effortless: "When you focus on what you lack you lose what you have. When you focus on what you have you get what you lack". It's something I keep reminding myself of, because I find myself complaining many times. But lately, I've been trying to reframe the situations, sometimes borrowing perspectives from my friends/family members. I'm far from perfect. It's a practice that one can keep cultivating throughout his/her life. Most successful people have testified to it. And albeit with limited experience, I can do the same as it continues to help me better my life.