The 'Serviceman'

My role model

As a child, I used to look up to my grandfather (my maternal grandfather) for the kind of life he was living. He was a mechanical engineer by profession, quite senior in his domain, headed complex hydropower projects, led large squads of other engineers, and was now retired. I admired the life he was living—or to put it more accurately, what I saw: the respect he received, the command he exhibited, the sensation of being looked upon as one of the smartest men in the room.
As a kid, I could barely make sense of things, but everyone in my family would describe my grandfather as a serviceman. Because in their world, there were two kinds of professions—service and business—translating to two life paths: that of a serviceman or a businessman. Maybe it was a notion my family developed, or just a common way of categorising professions in India. I know it’s funny and hardly makes sense—or maybe it does. To me, however, the path was clear. I wanted to be a serviceman—an engineer, just like my grandfather.

Pragmatic choices

I've always enjoyed solving problems—something not limited to just engineers, but innate to most of them. Following my curiosity and a desire for results, I landed my first job as a software engineer—a slight deviation from my interests in mechanics and aerospace. I wasn’t too picky and wanted a pragmatic path. At that stage, other people’s opinions shaped my idea of pragmatism more than my own intuition—because I barely had any. And those others rightly wanted me to choose a safer path, one with the least risks.

For a few years, I struggled a bit with the question—what if I had taken a different direction? What if it had been mechanical? To be honest, it still bothers me sometimes if I think too much about it. Truth is—I don’t know. I feel the dilemma, but I don’t regret my choices at all.

Understanding Myself

It’s been over 10 years now. I’ve been very fortunate to experience my profession in different ways—working across roles and seniorities, with various teams and companies, in many cities and even different countries. I was recently asked this question in an interview: “What is your ambition, Anmol?” A ten-years-younger version of me would’ve given a completely pragmatic answer—one that fit neatly into what the interviewer might’ve expected.

This time, I said: “I want to be useful. I want to be of service.” That’s as honest as I could be.

Full Circle

The question shows up in my journal in many forms, and the answer is always similar—if not the same. It’s a simple answer, and yet not an easy one to explain, because it can be interpreted in so many ways. I want to be of service to my family, to my friends, to my team (in a professional context), to society, and to this world. There might be many different ways to do that. Discovering them is the challenge I face now—the real challenge, the meaningful one.

Still, the answer satisfies me to my deepest core. It’s no longer based on worldly pragmatism. And yet, I find it deeply pragmatic for myself now :) Because there’s nothing else that would bring me more happiness and fulfilment.

And last but not least—it’s just an interplay of words, right? Instead of being a serviceman, I’m now striving to be a man of service.